“Ancient philosophy” may not be the best two words to capture one’s attention in an age where we confine our reading to digestible, 140-character tweets and filmmakers struggle to hold the attention of audiences more comfortable with 30 second YouTube clips. One ancient philosopher, however, had a rather unique way of capturing his audiences’ attention. For here is a man who lived in a barrel, begged for a living and carried a lamp during the daytime, but about whom Alexander the Great himself said “If I were not Alexander, then I should wish to be him”; one Diogenes of Sinope, the father of Cynic philosophy.

Much about Diogenes’ life is unclear, and rumours abound about his exploits; of his death, conflicting accounts assert variously that he died from holding his breath, from illness due to eating raw octopus or from an infected dog bite. All we have is a small number of scattered anecdotes about his life, but what we have suggests one of the most fascinating and entertaining lives ever lived. When being captured by pirates and sold into slavery is one of the relatively insignificant events of a man’s life, it is fairly safe to assume that they led a life worth hearing about.

He is often called the father of Cynic philosophy, and it is not difficult to see why. He devoted his entire life to challenging established customs and values, seeing them as artificial and a poor disguise of humankind’s innate, animalistic tendencies. Accordingly, he led a singularly impoverished lifestyle, living in a barrel to protest against the materialistic values of Athenians and even destroying his only wooden bowl after seeing a peasant boy drinking from his cupped hands. He challenged every aspect of orthodoxy, making a point of contravening Athenian custom by (shamefully) eating in the marketplace and carrying a lamp with him in the daytime in order to find “an honest man”.

If this all seems rather misdirected, it is worth noting that in the midst of this unorthodoxy, Diogenes was as clever as he was unusual; he is widely claimed to have written ten books, a volume of letters and seven tragedies. Indeed, he famously refuted Plato’s popularly acclaimed definition of man as a “featherless biped”, presenting him with a plucked chicken and saying “Behold! I’ve brought you a man”. Clearly, Plato did not consider Diogenes unworthy of his attention; he later added “with broad flat nails” to his definition.

His fame spread far beyond Athens, however. Having been captured by pirates, he was sold as a tutor to the children of a Corinthian named Xeniades; he was to spend the rest of his life in Corinth. It was there that Alexander the Great, arguably the most powerful man in the world at the time, is widely alleged to have visited him and to have asked him whether he could do any favour for him, to which Diogenes, relaxing in the sunlight, replied: “Yes, stand out of my sunlight”.

“If I were not Alexander, then I should wish to be Diogenes”, came the emperor’s awed reply.

Diogenes inspired not only his contemporaries and Athenian society, but also sculptors, painters and writers, from Raphael to Chekhov. His unique spirit, tenacity and sheer disrespect have made him one of the most fascinating and overlooked philosophers in history. Those who disagree, please stand out of my sunlight.

Tom H; 6.1